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soul

July 2017

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soul

So, it's football season again. Week three just started with a rather dismal showing from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (I stopped watching in the 3rd, which considering it was 42-0 at that point, was probably too long to have kept watching) and my Seahawks have lost their first game of the season.

And I've started watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix. It's not really my thing, the football thing aside. It's set in Texas, probably my most hated state, it's about Middle America, which isn't my favorite demographic, it's South with a capital S... But it does have Kyle Chandler whom I adored in Early Edition and it has Jason Katims on production who does Parenthood. And I've always heard good things about and everybody knows how it survived multiple cancellations... It's practically legendary. And it is about football. So I decided to give it a try.

And then today, I get to the episode where it becomes clear Matt's grandmother is suffering from dementia. She wanders out, got lost, went into someone else's home and started taking a bath. She then gets discovered by the family who lives in the house in question and gets escorted home in a police car in tears, all the while her grandson is frantically combing the neighborhood trying to find his grandmother.

The whole thing was enough to make me stop watching. I started tearing up and then they became actual tears and I was struck by a wave of emotion.

It's been over a year since my grandmother died. Actually, it's been a year and one month. And I still seem to be affected by it. Is that normal? Shouldn't I be less emotional about it now? Having lived through a grandparent having dementia, being responsible for them, making sure they ate and took their meds, I'm not really sure I want to continue watching. Because if it's anything I know about dementia, it's that it always gets worse. And just when you think it's gotten bad enough, it'll get even worse. Seeing Matt deal with all of that, alone, doesn't sound all too fun to me.

Maybe I should just stick to watching real football games... But there's only football four days in a week... Five if you count high school, but really, I don't care all that much about high school football. At least there's a narrative when it's fictionalized... :\

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