Ugh, I don't feel so great... And I think it was the orange I ate that's causing my stomach to turn like this... :( And despite what Rodney may claim, I really doubt there's such a thing as a citrus allergy (maybe a sensitivity, I"ll give him that) especially not in my case since I've ingested many a citrus fruit in my days...

I was in the middle of translating. I'm hoping to do good and get through 15 pages. So far, I'm about half done so I'm feeling good about it. Only, this is about the time where I start losing interest (which is why I generally only do eight pages a day) so I'm taking a small break to rest my eyes... I feel so old right now -- those tiny kanji are so hard to read... Or maybe I'm just too tired to focus on them because it's been a bit of a bitch. *yawns*

But hopefully, I will get back to this tonight, finish my 15 pages (I'm almost hoping for more than 15 pages but I know it's already pretty ambitious enough) and hopefully get through this long chapter by the end of the week. Possibly. Hopefully some of these pages will go fast. Really, really fast.

Okay, I'm getting worried again so I'm going to get back to it. I've been pushing this chapter off for like months now so I just want to get it done.

edit x1: Well, I got through 12 before I started getting crossed eyed and decided it was best to stop. Hopefully, I'll tackle the last three later tonight... :\

It's so cold here... Is it seriously so much to ask for snow? Right now, I'm starting to feel like there's no hope of it at all... And after last year, I've been spoiled. This is such a disappointment.

It's so wrong that it's this cold and we don't have snow.

And it's wrong that they had to tease us with that light dusting of snow flurries last night that have since pretty much all melted away. And there's no snow in the forecast at all... :( Seriously, if I have to suffer below freezing temperatures, I much rather have it accompanied with pretty snow.

Why won't it snow? Will there even be snow this year? Everyone around me has sworn off snow since last year's snowfall (so pretty, but so inconvenient and so much work, but damn, it was really, really pretty) so I feel like I'm the only one around here silently chanting for snow. *sigh*

Well, at least it's clear...It's certainly much better than that one year where it rained for a month...

Outlook has decided to go and download 1701 messages that I've already downloaded in Outlook.

Why, Outlook, why?!

I hate having to delete everything... And keep the stuff I already wanted to keep because I've kept them.

*sigh*

It's always good when it works well, but when it doesn't, I definitely do not like.

How to admit guilt by not actually admitting guilt?
See Tiger Woods.

I've got to say though, this is really hitting me hard. He was like one of my major heroes growing up and I thought he was like the one great person who was perfect. It was stupid and I know it was naive but he seemed untouchable and genuinely good.

And even though I know he hasn't confirmed anything, his statements seem to scream it and it's just disheartening.

It's almost like when I found out Bill Clinton was a horrible, lying womanizer. He was also one of my major heroes growing up... (Why must they keep doing stuff like this?!)

Only, I forgave Bill Clinton because he was still an awesome President and a brilliant man. But I'm finding it a bit hard to forgive Tiger and it's bugging me because it's pretty much the same thing. :(

I think we played a bit too much Rock Band since this is the second day that Weezer's Say It Ain't So is stuck on perpetual repeat in my head.

Say it ain't soooo-oh, your drug is a heartbreaker...

It's getting quite annoying.

I woke up early today to stay up for a package that ended up coming around 2 PM. I fell back asleep and woke up like a minutes before it arrived so it worked out. And then I wrote! It's the last day of NaNoWriMo so I devoted today to just writing and buoyed my word count by a good amount. ^^

And while I wrote, I enjoyed some nice mocha-esque coffee and some homemade focaccia bread that I whipped up yesterday (do you reallize how hard it is to make a yeast based dough to rise in a house that's freezing? It took doubly as long despite the fact that I had used a quick rise yeast so that means it really took four times as long) and ate it with the Boursin cheese Diana gave me. Yummy!

All in all, a good day. Well, except for that one bit where I tried to join probably the strictest LJ community EVER. Was there a ton of wank in the Merlin fandom that merited such extreme measures? Ultimately, I failed to join (T_T). Ah, well, it's not like most of the fic there hit the spot anyway -- I wanted something with crazy amounts of angst (but seriously, isn't angst practically given with this pairing?) and maybe an unhappily ever after or two (which I think is more than given with anything relating to Arthur/Gwen) with my happilies but I just wasn't finding it. Oh well... Maybe my search will just have to go deeper to find what I really want.

Or maybe I should just go back and read Arthur/Merlin fics again. You can never go wrong with slash...

Fours hours of sleep.

No nap planned.

Four cups of coffee.

Oh, I am so going to crash...

So.

Full.

*dies*

Hopefully I'll revive soon enough for Black Friday...

Made it!

But, I'm not finished with the story, am not even close to finished with the story. :( But I will continue on with it this month and later, hopefully at a less forced pace. And hopefully I'll be able to finish it because I just want to edit the hell out of it, rewrite whole parts of it and I've promised myself I won't do any of that until I finish the story. If I finish...

But for now, I'm over 50,000 words, yay, and it's before Thanksgiving! Like I thought, I got next to nothing written yesterday because I was with my siblings for pretty much all of it. And we played the New Super Mario Bros for the Wii and it was hilarious. People should just play that game while they're drunk with a ton of friends and have a ball because it's that entertaining.

I had to pull myself away from it just to get to 50,000 now... It's almost 5 AM, we're planning on leaving early to go to the cemetery to see my grandparents and then do dim sum in Portland and I'm sacrificing sleep now because I know that once we start rolling tomorrow, I probably won't see a computer until way past midnight. Way past. I'll be lucky to get anything written after I wake up... But I sorta figured this weekend was going to be a wash anyway. I doubt I'll have much time to do anything until Sunday or Monday which is sad but I don't have to worry about actually making it to 50,000 any more! Yay!

Okay, bed... I'm so sleepy right now... And waking up in five hours is not going to be fun.

*sleepy*

Kent is back! Like 12 hours early!

It kinda freaked me out actually...

I was asleep -- having some very restless sleep as I've been having the last few days in my attempts to sleep early and force myself into gradually not sleep until the evening. Anyway, I was half asleep contemplating my dream about the Wicked Witch of the West (and surprisingly the dream was in black and white even though the film itself was not) and whether or not I should wake up when I heard someone in my bathroom.

But I was supposed to be the only one in the house so I wondered if Diana had come back early. But she hadn't -- Kent did instead! Yay!

Of course, he's already zipped off again. Oh, Kent.

Now, I'm starting to have doubts about whether or not I can get to 50,000 today as I had planned on doing. It's only 700 more words but family over for the holidays tend to be distracting.

Ah, whatever. I just need to wake up first.

If this is what a first time animator could do with a little time and dedication, then I'll definitely look forward to his future works.

The look the pigeon gave Walter as he stared him down was absolutely my favorite part of the whole video. It was just so cute! ^^

Oh the things I find wandering around foreign blogs...

That and this:



Oh, the Oregon Trail... I think that's what a good part of America thinks of when they think of my state.

s i x t h s e n s e ?

So cool.

When can I get one?

Owies...

Somehow I banged my thigh on something and it's aching... T_T

With the tenderness, I'm guess I have a pretty big monster of a bruise. I've really got to stop walking into things... Seriously, can anyone be as clumsy as me? I walk into walls at times. Clipping myself on a chair or something else I should be able to maneuver past with ease is common place. And of course, I have to be easily bruised as well... It seems like I'm forever tyring to figure out how I got this or that bruise... :\

Anyway, I'm kinda out of it. I played the Sims 3 last night until late and now I haven't gotten enough sleep and I'm at work. Joy. And don't get me started on the craptastic, completely wasted time I spent playing the Sims... Just thinking about it makes me upset. But moving on, since it's rather slow her, I think I'm going to get in some writing. Somehow, I managed to get over 900 words last night (how did that happen?) so I'm going to spend a good half an hour and hopefully bang out another thousand words for today and call it good.

I hit a nice stride yesterday and kept writing and writing. It's annoying but so far my greatest scenes in this fic consist of Harry and Ginny and Harry and Ron. And there was very short thing with Harry and Draco. I wonder if my muse is trying to tell me something?

Finally got a chance to watch the latest Doctor Who.

At first I thought it was quite boring since it seemed to focus more on the people on Mars than it actually did the Doctor.

But then it got good.

( Not too many spoilers but just in case... )

I am a glutton for punishment.

I am attempting (or going to after I back EVERYTHING up) to update Sims 3 to the latest version.

And then I'm going to try and install the expansion pack World Adventures.

After all the crap I went through last time, I probably shouldn't be doing this again.

But I am because even if I can't play the Sims right now, I know I'll want to eventually. Like in December. I'm going to devote two hours to this and then write like hell and then hopefully it'll be all good. Or I won't be able to write anything at all. Here's to hoping all that experience from last time I went through this will help.

*crosses fingers*

edit x1: Everything works! ^^ Now I have an updated Sims 3 with the World Adventures expansion pack! ^^ Now, if only I had time to play it... But must get in at least 600 more words today to meet quota... :(

edit x2: Spoke too soon. T_T Apparently WA doesn't like my same sex pregnancy mod... T_T Now how am I going to get Draco pregnant by Harry? They're almost ready for their next children (just as soon as the twins grow up to be toddlers because four babies at the same time is not cool). If I want to keep it, I'm not really sure it'll work and it'll mean no interactions with any other sims. Which basically means I won't be having babies any way because that's an interaction.

And I seem to be having a problem keeping babies in my Sims arms. After they do one thing like play with the baby, the baby seems to disappear on to the floor in a different room -- every single time and before my Sim parent could do the second thing -- like feed it. Not cool, not cool. But livable, if time consuming. The whole no interactions thing? Not livable.

So now I'm waiting for another patch update. Or a better mod for same sex pregnancy that doesn't fuck up my game.

And after all this, the one good thing is that I found out the 1.7.9 update for TS3 actually works with the 2.2.8 update for WA. At least that worked because if it didn't, I would have to probably scrap the whole thing, uninstall and then reinstall it all over again. And that's a bit of a bitch because updating is hell. :(

My beloved Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela, Matt Damon and Clint Eastwood directing.

And it's a sports movie.

Even if it isn't awesome, I'm already biased towards it.

*type type type*

Looks up.

*type types type*

Blinks.

*type type type*

I'm forcing myself to type because I'm getting off track, I'm getting bored, and I'm starting to hate writing. I would much rather be reading about Kirk and Spock, preferably, Kirk and Spock doing naughty but oh so delicious things together. But I'm still writing because if I don't, I probably won't finish and I really don't want that to happen. I really, really don't want that to happen. This is the story! The story that was supposed to end all my desires to write ever again!

And I'm finding those videos and pep talk emails surprisingly helpful. And very true. So they are helping. And I've found myself unable to write with music anymore. It's too much of a distraction which is weird because it wasn't before.

Tonight, I want to take an hour and get 2000 words in. So far, I only have 400. But I'm going to force this story to make it to the middle so my climax can hopefully come into play in the next couple of days. And to get Harry and Draco into bed, just once (maybe twice) before all the shit hits the fan and everything everyone knows goes to hell. And hopefully it'll be smooth sailing from there and I can finish this sucker.

Okay, procrastination over. Must get up word count. Must write. Just write. I can do this. I can do this.

One of the greatest things about reading TOS K/S fic?

Long series. With long stories.

Oh my god, I am in such a heaven now. It's like I've totally overloaded, my mind just can't compute. Everything is so sparkly! And I'm so incredibly satisfied... It's like everything is awesome right now and if I get struck down, I'll die happily...

But damn it, I need more! Must hunt down all great K/S fics of all time... That's one of the problems with being into a pairing/fandom that was before the time of the computer and internet... So much is probably lost in zines...What a shame... I can only hope some of these authors have posted their stuff online, somewhere, anywhere, because some of it was so truly well written that I'm just blown away. And humbled by their obvious writing gifts. *sighs in contentment*

Yeah, that's why I've done so little writing for NaNo today... >< And why what I have written is utter crap. I needed to get back to my K/S fic...My mind just wasn't on it.

My grandmother just knocked on my door, totally distraught because she couldn't find the two little girls who rode in the car back with us. Only, there weren't any girls. Apparently she heard them in the house and went looking for them but couldn't find them and got freaked out.

*sigh*

Dealing with old people who seem like they're losing their mind is not exactly my strong point.

I'm starting to think Diana got the right idea. I hope I die before I ever get as bad as that.

I wrote nothing today.

I know it says on my NaNoWriMo page that I did and that I wrote over 2000 words but that''s really because I wrote it before I went to sleep, and just a little after midnight so in my mind it doesn't count because it was last night. You'll also notice that Friday was a fail day for me -- my lowest amount of words thus far. Why? An early dinner and then distraction pretty much the entire evening afterwards. I finally found time to write around 12:07 AM (seven minutes -- T_T) and spent the next hour banging out an extra scene because I realized I needed Draco to freaking show up in a H/D fic.

But it ended up as lame. :( I lost the fire pretty quickly (and my train of thought) and it sorta sputtered towards a not very good scene... Double :(

Not only that, but I realized my writing is lame. I'm trying to do way too much and it has to be much more subtle in regards to the mystery. But in regards to the romance, if I ever get any more subtle, Harry and Draco would just be enemies who don't like each other. Fail. I am starting to think I just can't write romance. Or love. Or slash overall.

But yeah, anyway, I wrote nothing for the first time in two weeks. And instead, I played Harvest Moon Sunshine Island which is 100x better than Island of Happiness where the controls sucked and I was confused through it all having it been my first HM game. But Sunshine Island -- so much love! I played it for like eight hours today... ^^;;; And I want to keep on playing it! But I also kinda want to watch last night's episode of SGU (over NUMB3RS and Merlin too!). What to do, what to do... I know I'm going to conk out in like two hours so I better make the most of it.

edit x1: Ten minutes into SGU and now I know why people were raving about this episode. That was pretty wild.

edit x2: Twenty minutes into SGU. Ditto. Everything Eli said. And yeah, Eli, Daniel did it.

edit x3: BLOODY FUCKING HELL!!!

Still, I was riveted. And it was a damn good episode. But I wanted to see the end! Grr... Not nice!

Last night, it occurred to me that those Star Trek books I read in middle school, could be considered my first exploration of fanfic. Only they're not fanfic, but they're not quite canon either. It's like professional fanfic~!

Only, some of them aren't as good as the non-professional fanfic... :\ I read Shatner's Collision Course last night (stayed up late even though I wasn't planning to) and it was interesting... More because it was about young Kirk (who seemed an awfully a lot like nu!Kirk) and a young Spock teaming up together. Which totally makes me want to read AU K/S fic (nu!verse or TOS, whatever, I'm reading both now -- which is kinda insane because I never thought I would EVER go old school and read TOS) where they meet as teenagers. And bond because every fic seems to have them bonding. I suppose it's a bit inevitable when you're dealing with Vulcans...

So last night I wrote almost 2000 words after midnight but before bed. I'm starting to think I hit my creative stride late at night because it takes me forever to get the juices going in the afternoon/evening. *sigh* Like, how, even though I was in a total zone last night and it should have continued on today because I only wrote half of my scene, I feel like doing nothing right now.

Well, that was until I read svz_insanity's post where she featured this song:

Joanna Wang - Best Mistake I've Ever Made

As I was listening to it (and getting used to her voice), I was thinking to myself "Yes, Yes, YES" because it was exactly what I want Harry to feel! Like getting together with Draco is completely insane but he still can't help it and he's willing to take it on even if it'll end up badly. I want this to be my turning point because it suddenly makes sense -- eventually Harry has to accept Draco and be the strong one holding it together because Draco won't be that person.

I'm starting to feel like this is the story that is influenced by one too many songs... I have songs for Draco's feelings, Draco's personality, Harry's feelings, their relationship... I'm going to have to compile a list so I don't forget them all.